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Sep 26, 2009, 04:34 AM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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Blue ~
Sweety it is about one step at a time. You don't go any faster than you are comfortable with. It does seem/feel overwhelming and scary. There may be memories from your past that are difficult for you to remember and your mind is sheltering you from those in a highly creative way by dissociating to protect you.
I think it is natural for trauma survivors to not want to lose this coping mechanism. I know I'm scared to. The whole thing is about taking it slowly and helping you be able to live a life that is less disrupted by the dissociation. And Calista is right, your mind will not present you with any memories until it is ready for you to remember and deal with them.
You don't have to share things with T if they bother you. Just tell them that it is what it is and you don't feel ready to talk about it....or you can write it if it makes you more comfy. A good T will take things at your pace and will not pressure you to move to fast....and it is okay to ask to slow down if things feel overwhelming. Moving to fast can lead to retraumatizing you and that is the last thing that T wants to have happen.
Learning grounding will be a good thing for you. It takes practice so you will want to put your mind to working with it daily to build up the skill...but it can be very helpful.
We're always here for you if you need us. 
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