Evn though I have an illness that makes sure my depressions eventually end, I know that it is coal black hen i am in it and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel until I am well out. Keep your promise. Write a contract with someone near you if yu must. Depression will tell you all sorts of things just to keep you in the whole, and you need these lifelines to other people who see things differently. There aren't any other easy answers.

BTW you're not putting your **** on everyone, dear. We don't have to read it if we don't want to, and besides, Not everything that one needs to unload is ****. (even if it is, better out than in, eh?) This is a very good place to leave it.