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Old Sep 26, 2009, 08:38 AM
KathyM KathyM is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
Pachy's question wasn't funny to me. It makes me extremely nervous because my sister is in town. I used to be a clean freak too and always lived in nice surroundings. Due to my illness (amyloidosis), my husband has had to take over all those duties in addition to his work. He never was very good at housekeeping, but it never mattered to me when I had the ability to do it myself. Our home needs a lot of work done, but we don't have the money or manpower to do it ourselves.

Whenever my sister comes to visit, I've always managed to have the house clean and ready for her. This time I was too ill to lift a finger, and wouldn't allow my husband to do any heavy cleaning because he has a bad back and a torn tendon in his shoulder that needs to heal. It's also "mouse season."

I have a rather strange collection of stuff too. To strangers, it looks like junk - worthless to them, priceless to me. They are mementos and reminders of places I've been and people I've seen in my life - little gifts I've received along the way. I would be furious if anyone took it upon themselves to throw it all away.

It is my most heartfelt and sincere desire to die in my own home. The thought of living in a nursing home and being dependent on strangers absolutely TERRIFIES me. I don't need or want to extend my life any longer than nature intended. I only want a little respect in my "golden years," and to pass on quietly in my own home.

I can see that look of judgment in my sister's face, and I'm so afraid someone will convince her to take action against my husband and have me placed in a nursing home.

I hope and pray my sister will not disrespect me.

I would suggest a serious conversation with your loved ones about "end of life" desires. Not everyone wants to live in a nursing home, and not everyone wants to live forever.