  (((((Christina))))) - Sorry you've hit such a rough patch - sounds like you are carrying quite a load, and I didn't read anything in your posts about you doing something you really enjoy and that feeds your soul. You know what they say about all work and no play. You really demand a lot from yourself - perhaps you need to be a little more gentle, kind, and comforting to yourself right now - set aside a little time each day specifically dedicated to doing whatever makes you feel better. Hope things smooth out a bit for you soon. Please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.     
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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