My Support Forums - View Single Post - Does anyone have SERIOUS jealousy issues?

arcanum · Sep 26, 2009, 01:59 PM

I only really had one bout of jealousy when i was about 18, it destroyed the relationship i was in and i learnt a valuable lesson! I am not a jealous person now but i was married to seriously jealous one though. It was hard to live with for sure and has a lot to do with why we are not together now. Most of my friends are guys, my ex knew that and was fine with it in the beginning, he thought it was cool but over the years he became more and more jealous. I never gave him reason not to trust me, i never wanted anyone else but him ~ pity his jealousy and selfishness destroyed everything we had! In the end he was going through my phone messages, chat logs and my emails etc, reading ridiculous fantasy out of 'hows it going' convos. If a friend complimented me he thought they were after me so he said i couldnt talk to them anymore. It was fine for him to cheer his girl friends and female workmates or customers up tho by telling them they looked nice or flirting even but he wouldnt bother to compliment me because im dismorphic so as far as he was concerned it was a waste of his time. He would get jealous too if i was concerned for a friend who was having a hard time, he couldnt understand how come it would upset me, he was jealous because our mutual male friends would come and talk to me when they had a problem but he said he couldnt! He has no empathy ~ what he really needs is a stepford wife lol end of problems!!

My fiance lives in florida and i live in the uk, we want to be together all the time but obviously thats not practical atm, we are as happy as we can be apart but it could never work if either of us was jealous. I have very close male friends and my fiance has close female friends. He is away til tomorrow staying with one of them and helping her decorate for halloween. Id be having an awful day if i was jealous, but hey i got better things to do than worry about something thats not happening .

If you trust you partner what does it matter who he or she has as friends and if you dont trust them then why are you together??? Jealousy is a waste of emotion and a destroyer of relationships. None of us are perfect ~ acceptance, empathy and love are precious when we share them with someone ~ dont spoil those things with jealousy and mistrust, we only go round in painful circles if we do. If in doubt ~ get out ~ if not ~ trust, love and let go.