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(JD) · Sep 26, 2009, 02:20 PM

I'm so sorry.

Don't be second guessing yourself on being able to see him, being sick, how long it's been since you talked to him ect. You have been doing well, and the best you can. No one can do it all. We each have our own life to live, and our own self care is important.

I know that it doesn't take the sting out of losing your last parent... but it will help you not feel worse for the "what ifs?"

My mom's passing only 3 1/2 months ago is still raw for me at times. The realization that I have no parent... that I am the parent... is overwhelming at times... I surely understand all you're going through, and will go through. I hope you do have some family that will work together for the best decisions.

I will give one note of caveat? When mom was in ICU she was on morphine. When we discussed in -hospital hospice, we explicitly voiced the continuation of morphine and they agreed, however when she went into hospice all they gave her was percoset. That only made her groggy and out of her mind, and did nothing for her pain. Because of her pain, they gave her full doses of it, even though my brother was in town and on his way over. She passed before he could get there, due to the underlying issue of not getting any morphine for her pain.

If you can remember, get something like that in writing, and not just on the nurse's notepad.

Loving, caring thoughts are with you.