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Originally Posted by treehouse
(((((((((((moon!)))))))))))))
My hope is that I won't *need* to replace it. That through the work I am doing in therapy, the triggers will be reduced, and my ability to deal with them and stay grounded and present will improve, and I won't HAVE to "leave" anymore....
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Hi Tree
Do you mean that replacing it isnt what will happen. The things that riggered before wont trigger and you will stay grounded and be present. And not need to leave. For me to be like this Id have to wake up in the morning as a different person. Can you imagine being that way? Or is it a distant goal type of thing?
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Try not to put too much pressure on yourself about therapy. It took me over 18 months to even BEGIN talking about the really hard stuff, but there was still a LOT of healing happening during that time. A lot. When it is time, you will be ready. Until then, there is still important work being done. Most of the important work in therapy for me has been done around the therapy relationship, and we were working on that from day one.
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Really? Im going to be asking really basic questions. How did you start working on the theraputic relationship. You know my t wasnt doing that at all. I was talking about my h and kids. After 8 mos and things with me started going downhill she started working on borderline stuff but never trauma (even tho she labeled my childhood traumatic). I dont know where to start with this t. I can say that in therapy too. Its an easy sentence, I guess. Ask her for help. Tell her there is so much to say but I dont know where to begin and I dont feel that comfortable yet.
I am afraid to mention my previous t (not desk t) b/c my t changed course completely when I started talking about that.
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My guess is it won't take you 18 months to be able to open up...you have already been working hard with a therapist for a while. It was my first time ever in therapy, so it was a really slow process for me. But even if it DOES take 18 months (or more!) its really, really okay
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I want to start with her where I am leaving off with my t. But I dont know how she will react to what I would tell her- or how she will react to me telling her that I dont remember much of my childhood. How can I work on what I dont remember?
I think my kids will be in college by the time I am present for them
I wish I could wake up in the morning as a normal person
This sucks.......
Thanks Tree
