yay, thanks guys! PC is really important to me, because this is where i get to share all my therapy successes and woes. of course, it happens in therapy also, but it is nice to be excited away from that hour/room also .

sunny - Austin-T is becoming increasing open about his "things" with me, and i find it so cool. that someone can be so functional with all of that going on. for me it is like healthy modelling - i get to watch him deal with similar stuff, but not let it take over his life. he told me if i got my assignment in i could celebrate by lining up my shoes in the closet, and i was like ?! and he was like, "oh wait, that's my issue not yours ".

also, he is starting to dig a little bit deeper, which i'm finding scary. atm he is just making comments and then moving on to something different if i dont respond. but he's also showing me it's ok to be vulnerable, because he tells me about why his stuff all developed and so i think maybe one day when i'm brave enough i can maybe open up too.

((((bloom)))) - i'm touched that my thread can encourage someone else to keep soldiering on also . i went out with my friends today for my birthday, and usually i would have avoided it because bdays have always been awkward for me, but they took me out for brunch and gave me all these cool presents and stuff and it felt really nice that they spoilt me like that.

they have always been really good to me but i think a lot of the time i dont allow them to be. i am having a few health scares atm which i am trying not to think about, but maybe i can let them know and they will support me? i had to go for surgery last year to check for cancer, and they were pretty upset that i'd known for months before i told them.

the fact that im even considering telling them when i'm not "in control" is progress, i think. although sometimes progress is hard to judge. i dont know if its a good thing to burden my friends like that either.