I haven't had my diagnosis long (Dissociative Amnesia and Depersonalization Disorder) but recently it had a big negative impact on my life. I had numerous episodes previously but it was only "mental checkout", I wasn't moving, I wasn't physically doing anything.

The last one though, the one that put me on my leave from work, was a physical action but one where my body was moving/doing while my mental state (my then reality) was watching from a distance. In other words, my body was doing something but *I* wasn't there. It was very dream like, surreal. This has proven to be extremely embarrassing to me. I have to go back to where it happened and explain it to others. I don't know how. I know all the rationalizations of mental illness, that's it is no different then physical disabilities and I should hold my head up, but I can't. I'm ashamed and embarrassed.

So how do I go on? How do I answer questions or explain this? I'm in therapy and on medications but am terrified of it happening again. I don't know what the exact trigger was so I'm not confident I can avoid it.