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Sep 27, 2009, 03:41 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
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Zen, how I handle this kind of situation is by asking myself "WHY am I feeling like I don't want to keep the appointment?" If I am honest with myself - which is a skill in itself that needs to be learned and takes time to do so - and the answer is simply my fear of social situations, then I would most likely force myself to go. (Unless there were other troubling things going on in my life and it was all just too overwhelming.)
If my answer was because I had no real interest in the event or subject matter. Or that I really didn't enjoy being around this friend or the people in the group, then I would call and make an excuse to cancel. Then I would try to be more honest from then on, at least with myself, and not commit to things I really have no interest in or don't enjoy. I have found this to be very practical and helpful in my own life. It has meant for me that I spend more time alone and with few friends, but when I weigh the options of being honest with myself or pretending just for the sake of having a social life, for me it's preferable to spend more time alone that to be stuck in situations I don't enjoy, with people I don't like and feeling lonely in a group of people.
At least if I feel lonely when I'm by myself, I have a good reason for feeling lonely. It's easier to bear for me. But we are all different, you have to figure out what is best for you. 
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