My dreams as of late have been very emotionally tense- a lot of anger and sadness and fear---all of the emotions I have been trying my entire life to numb out/avoid.

I had a dream last night that I was being held captive somewhere (the details I will leave out) and when I was finally set free I was struggling to adjust to the real world, but T was right there, waiting and ready to help me work through what had happened. I was struggling and constantly avoiding her and pushing her away, but she some how stayed right beside still waiting for when I finally was ready to trust her and accept her help. At one point my 14 year old niece showed up in the dream and she looked a lot older than 14 and I finally started bawling my eyes out and T was right there helping me through the pain. I guess I was mourning the life I missed out on...IDK. I feel like seeing my niece there in my dream all grown up and me realizing that I'd missed so much, represents the disconnected I feel IRL from everyone and all that I am missing out on.

I have been struggling in therapy--ever since I started a year ago and T has been right there. She has not given up on me. Now only if I could allow myself to open up like I did in my dream....