I know you understand Rainbow and I know you have the same difficulties leaving people. I will bring it up to ftt.

The feelings I have about leaving her feel overwhelming. I wish these kinds of feelings could just roll off my back and I could handle sadness and separation like a grown up. I feel like a clinging little girl. I cant let go. I am so afraid to feel like I miss her and want her. The thought of those feelings makes me unable to make an appointment, write a letter to her or call her. I dont want it all to be final and over.