You need to get rid of the bf. He's very controlling, along with being abusive. It's really not safe for you to be around him. I'm just wondering has he been so mad at you that he hits you? He does show the signs. He is full of rage. It's really not you, it's him. He won't ever get out of this until he gets treatment for his rage. I agree with what Vickie said. Go to therapy. I was in a abusive relationship, and trust me on this it will only get worse. There are a lot of good men out there why settle for what this guy is doing to you. You might think that you love him, but I think your with him because your very insecure. I also think that until you get a better self esteem you should leave the guys alone. Your not any of those names that he calls you. He needs an excuse for his rage, and that lie he is feeding on. You really need to get out for your own safety.