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lynn09 · Sep 28, 2009, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by googley

Thank you all for your replies. I am having such a hard weekend. I feel so empty and alone. All I have to keep me company is my homework, and that just doesn't make me feel any better. I just want to curl up in a ball. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I don't know where it is coming from. With my new T who I don't really trust yet, it leaves me with no one to talk to. And I don't want to bother the few people who I do know by calling them. Even though I know that I don't do this it seems like I only call them when I feel bad. Which in the end always makes me pretend to feel fine when I call them. But I still can't get myself to tell them anything. I'm afraid that they will be like "enough is enough" you are too hard of a friend. It's not like they call me every as it is. Why does it always have to be me? I feel so alone. I really don't see what the point of all this work is. It's not like it ever really gets better. No matter how hard I try. I always end up in the same place. Empty and alone.

Sorry you're having a hard time (((((googley))))). Getting settled in new surroundings is difficult, especially when you are dealing with depression. Try to open up to your new T - give your T the chance to help you - you will find out more quickly if your new T is a good fit for you; if not, then you can find one who is worthy of your trust. If you are going to feel uncomfortable calling your friends, just jump on PC and talk to us - someone's always here to hear and support you now matter how many times you post, no matter what you need to say. It takes time to really understand how your depression effects you - you know what they say, "Know thine enemy." It takes time to develop the coping skills necessary to continue functioning and caring for yourself despite how you feel. Please be patient with yourself; berating yourself for having difficulty dealing with your situation only serves to make you feel worse. Learn to acknowledge and reward yourself for every single little positive accomplishment - make those accomplishments much more important than your mis-steps. Please keep posting.