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Originally Posted by treehouse
And that is why you don't have to do ANYTHING just yet. You've canceled your upcoming appointments with desk T, you have an appointment scheduled wtih ftt - can you just let things flow, and not force yourself to do anything right now? Everything is fine how it is right at this moment. Once you start with ftt, how you want to handle desk t will probably become more clear to you.
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Breeeeeethe......ahhhhh....that feels good.....no decisions to make.......
Wait! I have 1 more appt scheduled with desk-t. It is monday (not the 5th, the following monday, whatever date that is). I have some time to decide.
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I had a teacher T last winter (for meditation) and it ended BADly. ack. Even my T was involved. BLAH! Anyhow, I talked to my T about it a lot and was 99% positive I didn't want to work with teacher T anymore. He really wanted me to have one last session with her for closure, but I wasn't sure I wanted to. And I thought about writing a letter, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Somehow, I just couldn't close that door. Finally, time went by, and she kind of faded from my thoughts, and the whole thing was just OVER without me doing ANYTHING. And I feel fine about it now- when I think about it, I don't feel like there are loose ends, or like there's no closure. I just moved on.
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That is very interesting. In the moment of those feelings it all seems bigger than life, and we have to decide to do something or not do it. Then it fades and sitting in the moment without making a decision for or against was the right thing to do. It took care of itself. I cant say that after all I have been through that in the end just leaving would be the right thing to do, but I am sure you are right about now. I do not have to make a decision now.
How long were you with the meditation teacher? A long time?
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Can you not worry right now about how (or even if) you will end it with desk T? I think things will start to fall into place when your sessions with ftt finally start. I wish your session could have been THIS week!
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I can do that. I really can. You are 100% right. When the sessions begine with ftt I think things will fall into place. I may even ask her for some extra sessions. It might jump start my relationship with her and I may feel comfortable sooner. And I have so much to work on.
I also wish I could have started this week, but for some reason that was not meant to be.
OMG! Off to do cookies and music!