Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
I think it is just a subset of clients who feel abandoned by their Ts when they take a vacation or have an emergency. (I don't feel that way.) I may miss him and look forward to seeing him again or be disappointed because I'm eager to continue our work, but that seems different. Maybe I don't feel abandoned when he takes vacation because I have a secure attachment to my T. I know he is coming back, that he isn't going away because he personally doesn't like me, etc. I expect that if T is attached to me, it is securely and so he would also not have this issue. Plus, I think the T is very used to leaving all his clients behind while he does stuff and expects that clients will take vacations too, etc. I just don't see it as an issue for the T. If I reschedule an appointment with him, I am sure he doesn't take it personally. If he feels anything when I reschedule, I expect it might be mild annoyance, of the "darn, she canceled and now I have an empty slot to fill on short notice" or something of that variety, or maybe he might even like it, "great, she canceled, now I can sleep in tomorrow."  Plus, the scheduling is done on both of our terms. We never meet unless it is a time we both have free. |
This is what I aspire to, Sunny! I cannot imagine ever being that grown-up. I like reading things like this so I know what healthy attachement looks like.
I cant speak for any t, but I dont think it would be feelings of abandonment (unless this continued to be an particular issue for that t), but maybe sad feelings if a client leaves. Questioning themselves maybe. Im sure they have the same feelings that we would, but I would hope they have enough emotional health and tools to deal with whatever comes up. I SO wonder what my t would feel if I said a permanant good-bye. Would she blow it off? Would she feel sad? Would she hear my concerns? For sure, as has been my realtionship with her, she wouldnt share her feelings with me. A big obstacle in our relatonship.
For cancelling an appointment or attending to an emergency matter- I sure hope a t I would have wouldnt feel abandoned. Rather just concern for the patient's emergency or reason for rescheduling.