i agree with sunny that not every client feels distress when their T goes on a holiday or something. though, i don't know if i'm securely attached because () i actually look forward to when pdoc and Austin-T go on leave. i get really excited for them, but i also feel relieved that i know they are looking after themselves. that's probably because i'm gonna be a T one day too, and i work better with healthy modelling. i get stressed out when i find out they aren't doing basic self care.

as for whether they feel abandoned... i don't think it's abandonment as such, but i know that pdoc misses me when i cancel an appt because he has mentioned it in the past. not that he was pining for me or anything, lol, but just like what tree mentioned with her T.

also, there was this one time a few years ago when pdoc called me to make sure i was ok. i was in the middle of a really bad depression, and hadn't seen him for a few weeks, and he was stressing out and couldn't let go. the way he worded his call, i almost suspect he might have had supervision for it or something. he was very upfront about the fact that he was calling more for his own sake than for mine. he was terribly apologetic about it, too. poor pdoc. i think he has learnt to trust himself more now and doesn't mind breaking the rules so much.

i think... it's not "abandonment" that therapists would feel so much as a maybe "rejection". abadonment has that sense of them needing us, whereas with rejection it speaks more to their professional competencies etc. having been to a number of therapists now, i know there are some who care about me very deeply and who take it beyond what is required of them professionally, and then there are other where i am just another face in a sea of clients.