no, thank you, impy . pdoc is getting excited but there is a part of me that is worried about summer coming up and how i will cope. thankfully honours will start in late january next year, and if i am organised i can even start working on my thesis earlier. but even so... i am worried about the lack of structure. but then i remind myself that i was working this year also, and that was a bad depression too. so i am scared about summer coming up, but i am also trying to adopt an attitude of "we'll see what comes". maybe if i am doing well now, then the depression might not be as bad this summer. i am pretty much counting on its arrival, which makes me wonder if i am inviting it somehow.

BUT, i do have a nice 6 weeks (filled with exams *sigh*) until then, so i intend to enjoy it while it lasts. i just hope the depression doesn't come early, and i also hope that if it comes it is something i can fight off without letting it settle in. i dont know. i've started exercising again, and that helps me feel more in control, so i will try to make it habitual with the time i have left.

fooze - you're right. i'm scared of being rejected though, because it affects them also. and i feel sad that i'm the "sick one" in the group, always. i dont want to draw even more attention to it. i dont know.