I am very seriously entertaining the idea that my husband has APD in addition to some other issues.

His childhood was full of people that were abusive. His mother was and his step-fathers were as well. His mother has been married and divorced three times. A lot of the time that he was growing up, he was dumped off with family members. One time, his mother left him with a teacher of his.

His grandfather is the one person that he looked up to as a role model and he was abusive as well. He would run into other cars in a parking lot because they took a space that he deemed his. Hit his daughters when they talked out of turn and abuse his grandchildren because he didn't like their behavior. My husband seems to idolize this type of treatment and believes that it is appropriate.

While his mom was married to husband #3, he spent a lot of time using different things to control all of them. Money, physical abuse and verbal abuse were most of the means. His mother also spent a lot of time finding creative ways to control her husband.

As they all got older, she and her husband would spend most of their time fighting, breaking things, slamming doors and cursing and telling eachother how much they hated the other.

Now, I need to get to him:

He spent his adolescence using drugs, drinking and causing fights.

He ended up in military school because he was failing most subjects in public school and they were going to expell him. He went on to military school and didn't have a choice but to finish.

Once he finished high school, he met and married a woman that he had met three weeks earlier. They began a family and had two daughters. This is when he joined the military, although he never even made it through the first enlistment period. He went AWOL and took his family to live with friends until someone gave him up. To this day, he is barred from voting in the general elections because he has an other than honorable discharge.

During the time that they were married, his mother provided most of the care for their children. They were busy doing what they wanted to do and going out all night with their respective friends.

Also, they spent countless hours abusing each other and neglecting their children. Eventually they divorced. He has hit his oldest daughter and called her a "*****" among many other things. Neither of the girls will have anything to do with him to this day.

He and his mother have spent a great deal of time abusing me in many ways. They both have called me everything under the sun, many of these things cannot be repeated here. Anyway, they both blame me for the state of his life.

He tried going to college, but never made it through even two semeters and of course he has an excuse for that too (its his ex's fault). He still tells everyone that he graduated from that particular institution and no one knows any different.

He has never been able to keep a job or get along with the people that he works with or for. He is always getting fired for one "reason" or another.

He has a lifelong pattern of being physically abusive to everyone, even strangers. He has stopped his car because a man on a backhoe was in the road and ended up hitting him then laughing about it. He has become pretty good at prevoking people (even at work) by calling them names, making fun of them because of their race, religion nationality. They end up getting into a physical fight that automatically becomes everyone else's fault but his and he puts them into the car, wall or breaks other peoples property in the process.

He has been sued by a patron of a bar that he used to work at for "malicious assault and battery", the company settled out of court and he was fired. He has admitted to doing these things to this person (as well as many others) and laughed about it. He threw Fred Durst and ICP out of a club by their britches, he says.

He cannot fathom that other people have feelings and that the way that he acts causes them discomfort or alarm. He believes that all of these things are perfectly normal and states that it is who he is and he isn't changing who he is.

He has two "friends" that he appears to be close to. They are father and son and the son is only 19. He says that they are just alike and that they get along perfectly. They both have a similar background and temperment. Neither one of them have many friends. Also, these two or three are gone every weekend doing whatever they choose, only he is the one who has a family that he should be around for.

We have a son and our son is pretty angry with him at the moment about his insensitive comments and attitude. He is 8. He also is starting to develop an opinion that his dad is wrong in the things that he does, says and the way that he treats people. It is alarming for me when my 8 year old son has a better reasoning ability than his father.

He is a habitual liar and will does so at anytime. He does not feel bad about those things and has excuses for all of it.

He also has had a continuous problem with pornographic websites, singles date lines, gay material, BDSM (including violence), animals, and so on. These things he always has an excuse for: either I am not interested in him anymore or I always want someone else.

In general he hates women, African Americans, people from the Middle East, the overweight (he's not small), children, and the elderly.

He hates everyone in my family from my grandmother, uncles, aunts, all the way to my sister. I have never seen any of them to things that would warrant such hatred, but he does. When I ask what it is that each one of them have done, he doesn't have an answer other than that make him crazy. They are all their own people with their own strengths and weaknesses and I cannot seem to find a reason for that hate.

He has gone in to great detail about how he would want to kill people and takes pleasure in the thoughts. This is something that I cannot even begin to relate to. We all want to wring someone's neck once in a while, but to take pleasure in descriptive, fantasy such as that seems almost psychopatic. It's scary to know there are people who think that way.

He takes great pleasure in being called an "asshole" and claims that title gratefully. To tell the truth, he is the biggest asshole I have ever met in my life. I don't think I will ever meet another person who can be a bigger one.

Right now, he is actually looking into different mental health centers around. That is futher than he has ever gotten in his life. He really needs it.

Any information or advice would be appreciated.