Yep! I felt that way most of my life. It didn't help that I was the black sheep of the family... I guess. I never seemed to measure up anywhere, everbody either ignored me or made fun of me.

The first time I got married it was out of sheer desperation to get out of the house. Big Mistake! I jumped from the frying pan into the fire! After 12 years of that, I made a friend because from somewhere deep inside, I found the courage to talk to him. He convinced me that what I was going through was totally wrong. Eventrually, I got out of the "fire."

There was a group of divorced people that I heard about and I was so desperate for adult interaction, that I snuck into the meeting one time. Lo and behond, they slit up into small groups! They lived up to their name, though, "We Care."

Looking back, I believe that is where I started getting the courage to be myself. I knew I wasn't as wacked out as some of the other members! From there, I've just progressed and have not been aware of, really, until recently. I'm not a wallflower anymore and I don't sit with a scowl on my face in a corner when in a group of people because no one talks to me.

There is no communication anymore with the cousins I grew up with. Maybe they're all dead. IDK. Those are the people that would probably make me really feel ill at ease. They always did. There was only one female cousin that I felt comfortable with since I was a child... and she was old enough to be my mother.

All through my life I only had one friend at a time. I still only have one friend that I go out with, but she's no good to tell things to. She has been my guardian angel through the years. She gets total credit for that! ... ... Sitting here counting the close friends I've had... six. Only six... in 3D that is... in the last 66 yrs. I have friends here on PC that I wouldn't trade for the world, but they don't have to look at me, put up with my moods, my opinions and my set ways, either!

IDK... somewhere along the line I stopped caring what people in general think of me. Either they like me for who I am, or... not. So be it. I've also stopped being a people pleaser. I'm like Popeye...