I need to give a little background here, when my wife and I met last year, it was truly love at first sight, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before...we started dating exclusively. I messed up and cheated on her, then she had one of her feelings, and I kept on denying what I had done, but eventually, I admitted it. Her reaction almost killed her. It scared me. Then several months later she got another feeling and I had to finally admit to staying in phone contact with my ex, her reaction was very bad again. Now she said she has this feeling again, and it is scaring me, because now I have no idea what I have done, and what kind of reaction she is going to have to it. I have not cheated, I have not been in contact with my ex. I have work hard to keep on the staight and narrow with her. I have my own psychological problems I am dealing with, I am afraid of being alone, I am afraid of failing, I am afraid I am not going to be good enough, or strong enough. I am insecure a lot. Every time she has had one of these feelings it ended up going very bad. She read my forum post and resented the word paranoia...I used the wrong term...she does have justification, given the past things she uncovered, but this time I really don't know what I have done wrong. I have delved into everything I have done, and I have hidden nothing from her. I truly love her. Now I feel this pending comfrontation about something, and I have no idea what it is. I am being very open and honest here, because really you guys have no idea who I am, and who my wife is. She is very sensitive to my changing moods and feelings. Lately, I have felt overwhelmed by the weight of making everything perfect in her life, so her past nightmares aren't triggered by anything in the present. But, yesterday I realized that no matter how much I try to make everything perfect that I can't change what someone did to her in her past, I can't change the pain she goes through every day, I can't stop the memories, I can't control when or if she thinks about the bad things. I realized that I am powerless to stop anything that she is going through. I wanted to make everything right in her life, I wanted her recovery to be quick...but that is unrealistic. I can't walk through her pain for her, I can't carry her through. All I can do is be there for her when she does need me. I feel helpless, I want to fix the problems and make them all better. I am having to come to grips with the fact that there is nothing I can do, except just love her. She is the most strongest person I have ever met in my life, and she is the first person I have ever had in my life that I can truly say, loves me. I hurt when she is going through her past nightmares, in the past I have tried to get her mind off of them, distract her, control how much she was going to go into them... What I have realized now is that I don't have control over that part of her life. Today the overwhelming sense is a lot less, I am allowing her to walk through her recovery at her own pace, being there every step of the way, supporting her when SHE asks for it, and just loving her. That is all I can do. I hope it will be enough.