I can relate to trying to rationalize the "leaving the familiarity syndrom" thing.
As you already know, it's NOT easy finding the strength to leave. In fact, we have the tendancy to somehow find the means to justify WHY we remain.

It took me many years to finally leave, and I left just recently, (as you may/may not know from all the many threads I've posted).
I "should have" left hubs before daughter was even born, but I didn't really see the destruction then, (far too early, and I was quite blind to it, anyway).
Not long after dot was born, the reality set in that I was in a downhill situation. But, not being employed and being an "in-home" mom, I fell into the "dependancy" thing with hub. One thing led to another, (situation became more abusive), I was at a position of chosing between either leaving with dot, (struggling on own), uncertain of any sound means of security, or remaining in abusive situation, (try to make best of it until I could get self and dot out of it), and keeping the financial security for dot. Hard position to be in, and a very easy one to fall victim to.

15 years later, I've finally reached a point of the NO tolerance level anymore. Unfortunately, I'm not really certain the damage I may have done to my daughter in the process. The best I can do now is attend to her needs the best I can and do what's best for the both of us now.

I can only hope that you don't wait as long as I have.
Keep in mind that your daughter is #1, and the longer she is subjected to a bad situation, the harder it may be on her in the longrun to overcome. Same for yourself. Although, I perfectly understand how we justify our own sacrafices as almost meaningless at times.

I agree with Manda, think of what's best for your daughter as a general rule of what's best for self.

I wish you the best.

Shangrala