Oh I know the death of her mother greatly affected her. Even though she had no contact with her mother for many many years and never had a good word to say about her, I know that cut her deeply. It was sadly compounded by that idiot woman leaving suicide letters for her daughters upon her death. They were so vile that the police refused to release them. They did allow Amy's father to read the one left for her and that fool told her some of the content. I'm telling you these people should never have been allowed to have kids.

I am a very affectionate person. I know that there are people out there that can be excellent parents without being openly affectionate. My uncle married such a woman, but I always felt sorry for my cousins (who were much younger than myself) because although their mother was fair and just, the just didn't get the cuddles and love that I think children need. Since I babysat for them every day, I gave them that love. I have no doubt my Aunt loved her children, she just expressed it in a different way.

I have no doubt that Amy will not neglect this child to the extend that it is legally defined as neglect. Again, if that were to occur I would not hesitate to call CPS in a second.

I also know I'm going to cave, as soon as she calls and says "mom will you watch the baby" I will not be able to refuse her. Before she had the baby she made a comment about us taking the baby every other weekend. This was something that I thought was a joke because at the time I said "sure, I'll take the baby, you take the three dogs". She brought it up to my husband right after moving back to town. When she brought it up to me and I discussed this with my husband I realized that the girl was serious. Don't get me wrong, if my husband volunteers to watch the baby, HE'LL watch the baby. ';?The stress this has added to my life already over little things like the baby gift and baby shower really makes me dread what path we're on now.

My love for children is absolute and unconditional. In my view they are little bundles of love place on this earth for us to love. They are innocent and should be treasured. This baby in all reality could be the apple of my eye. But in this situation, I am the outsider. She is this baby's mother, as such I must respect her wishes regarding the child (with the exception of course of abuse).

But I want to thank you guys for helping me work this out. I realize now that my main concern is not really for the health and safety of the baby. We're here for her and Amy knows full well that I don't play around when it comes to kids.

As selfish as it is, I really resent that this has already caused issues with my husband and I really don't know what to do about that. The very quality that made me fall in love with him to begin with, his ability to love unconditionally and his devotion to those he loves is really being a thorn in my side right now. He's right, Amy and her baby have the greatest need right now and if that cramps our style we'll just have to deal with it. But this doesn't mean I have to like it.