Dear Horsecab,I, too, have quit alcohol and drugs, and the lifestyle change and the need to face anxieties head on is hard. I, too, have an avoidant disorder since stopping drinking and drugging. I know what it feels like to dislike yourself for past behaviors and to feel jealousy of others for whom relationships seem to be so easy. I am assuming that you are male. Remember that there are probably many more females with this disorder than males. Someone out there would deeply appreciate a relationship with you, but you may have to start it! Becoming more other-centered is something that I work on, and it is helpful is making me forget my own troubles. Such things as anxiety seem to disappear if they are ignored. However, I know how difficult it is to do that!!!! My computer ability to make smilies appear in text has somehow broken. But I give you multiple hugs and much empathy. What people think of us has little to do with anything about us; has much to do with how we make people feel about themselves. You don't have to make conversation if you concentrate on asking people questions about themselves and then just listening to them talk. Caring About You ~ billieJ