Self esteem is not necessarily the same as self image and it sounds like your self image isn't very good. I helped myself most when I became "friends" with myself, just as if I were someone else :-) and started enjoying my company, standing up for myself, etc. The only real way you can get a sense of yourself, I think, is by spending time with yourself and finding what you like, dislike, are good at, need help with, etc.

Did you see the movie, "Runaway Bride" with Julia Roberts? The part where she does the work to find out how she likes her eggs :-) is what I'm talking about. Get to know yourself and as you do that, you'll get to like yourself and appreciate your "You-ness" and will be better able to identify with others and help others identify and enjoy you.