May I add something about dependancy?
Part of my healing journey has been working on unhealthy dependancies...could be called co-dependancies perhaps? tho, some of it
is plain being dependent.
dependent on the availability of someone else to take care of, problem solve, parent, be available, exclusive, say the "right thing" (which of course is what i want to hear LOL)
It has been difficult to walk the parallel path with others, not the same path with someone in the hopes of gaining some kind of attention even if it is "shadow" attention or left over crumbs--attention by association?

sometimes it is possible to be both the care-giver and the care-ee in unhealthy ways. Learning more healthy ones

or completely with draw from either of the two and become isolated out of fear of "messing up" a relationship, situation, someone elses life---mine doesn't count, that's messed up already.

i struggle with all of this and all of what was posted by Catherine.
It's LEARNING-- or RE-learning what was never taught or shown as how to how to interact with ppl.

so, here is our learning ground.
Here is our Dance School--learning the dance of life that was never learned. scary as hell, as I have two left feet. but so amazing when i finally learn a new step and can get in sinque with the other dancers.

Just my thoughts