Quote:
Originally Posted by Vickie in Phoenix
I really do feel for you and do understand how lonely and isolated you must feel. Yes, if you get sick again and have to go to the hospital it is going to be very difficult. Do you have a friend you can confide in or a minister? It would be a good idea to find at least one person who you could explain it to who could be your friend in case you need one in an emergency.
I wonder if your doctor could suggest someone for you to rely on as an adocate. Maybe someone from the county. Why don't you ask your doctor the next time you get a chance. 
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I do see a counselor. But, I do want someone I am close to to be more understanding. And isolated is very much how I feel. I don't have a very good support system. I mean don't get me wrong...my husband is still here after all that happened to get me sent to the hospital to start with. I get so frustrated because I use to live in the city and I had friends coming from every direction. I never felt lonely or isolated...always had something to do, some where to walk. Now I am in the country (for 10 years now) and all my friends that I did have think I live to far out and I very rarely see anyone anymore, my one sister I am close to lives a good 2 hours away, which is not to bad..straight shot from my house, but I do not see her much. I have not been working due to my hospitalization I lost my job. I am feeling overwhelmed by loneliness. My husband gets so aggravated with me because I get bored and nothing to do with my time. I sit right here at this computer ALL day considering my kids are in school. That is something else. Ever since I have been home from the hospital...my concentration has been terrible. I can not go back to school myself right now because of the focus problem I have been having. I am depressed; but it is getting better slowly. But, I feel like I need some one. I need some human interaction. I am really sick of every time me and my best friend of 22 years get a chance to talk she talks about her weekend plans and does not bother to ask me out for lunch. When she does make plans with me..I never hear from her again. It takes about 2 weeks for her to call me after I have been stood up. I have tried writing my husband a letter to tell him how I am feeling. But he never responds to it.
As far as an advocate goes, I will look into it. I do need someone there to catch me if I begin to fall. Really someone to recognize that I am slipping and not thinking I am fine until it is to late. When I was placed in the hospital I had gotten to the end of my rope before anyone did anything. My husband just thought I did not love him anymore. Though my "plans" were to leave him and get my own place, work, and do what ever it took to say I can make it on my own. Which is stupid because I was only making 8 dollars an hour. And not only that...I had no idea what was making me want to do all of that. I met a man I had a one night stand with (which he is crazy..like stalking crazy) and that got out of hand. What I feel like is I got so out of control everyone is so mad at me because of it that no one wants to hear about "my" problems. But what they don't realize is if they want to be a part of my life..my problem is theirs to (to an extent). So why ignore me?
Okay, I know I have sit here and blabbed A LOT!
Thanks for the advice.