Sounds to me like he's got more than OCPD (and possibly the Asperger's you mentioned), because hoarding is another related issue. I hope the psychiatrist can help him. There are medications he can try, but it might take a while to find the right one(s).

I'm sorry to hear about his cancer. I don't know if there's anything you can do if he doesn't want to get help for it.

On his recording conversations and whatnot, it may be illegal. I don't know much about specific laws, but in some areas, it's illegal to audio record people without their consent.

Are you going into the therapy as a couple, or will he be seeing the doctor alone? Hopefully, he will give the doctor enough information to get a proper diagnosis.

I'm glad you feel better getting it off your chest. I'm sorry I don't have much to tell you, but I hope the psychiatric visit presents some hope for you.