Hi everyone,

I just want you all to know that I will be moving my stuff out today and tomorrow, and he'll be staying at the house until the house sells and then will be moving into his own place. Last night was the worst night since all this started. The whole finality of it all has set in and as much as I want this to be over, it just breaks my heart to know that the chapter has ended, and to see how easy it is for him and how it is for me pisses me off. It hurts sooo bad. I went to the doctor's today though and got a note to be out sick until 10/6, so that will give me time to move my stuff out and settle into my new place without having to worry about getting work done. I will not be getting internet hooked up to my new place until maybe the third week of October so I won't be able to communicate from my computer at home, but if I have a chance to use someone elses computer I can log on and keep everyone updated. Please post me as much as you can. I need as much encouragement and words of wisdom as I can, now more than ever. I have just been so stuck on my losing everything and him having this affair that I can't see the good in all of what is to come from ending it all.
I want to hate him, but I still love him with every fiber of my being and I get so mad at myself for feeling that way, but I think that once I'm away from him for a while and I do see him every day, I will start to remember the bad things about him and everything that he's done to me, and then maybe I will get to that angry state, but until then please help me get through this.

Thanks again.

Deedee