I'm glad you took the advice in the spirit in which it was given. Communication isn't really as complicated as it sounds. Sit down with your boyfriend and set up some ground rules. Agree for example that when you're upset that you may say things that you don't mean or they may come out the wrong way. Eventually you'll learn to think about what's bothering you before you say something, so your words carry more meaning. In the meantime, he'll agree not to take what comes out of your mouth when you're upset personally. If it crosses a line, he'll try to let you know without engaging you futher.

Try simple exercises. When you're discussing something important, repeat what you heard back to the other person. This may seem childish and awkard, but I'm sure you'll discover what is said, and what is heard, especially in the heat of the moment are polar opposites.

Not wanting to discuss something is totally acceptable, but the way you get that space is important. Say something along the lines of "I want to clear this up, but I need to gather my thoughts right now." So he knows you're rejecting the fight, not him personally.

I totally understand what you're feeling and going through. Most of the time in any relationship, we react to the little things but what is actually bothering us is something bigger and festering under the surface. Sometimes the only way to get that out is through a blow up, but when you do battle the goal is not to maime or kill, it is to fix it.

At the risk of over generalizing or over simplifying, men and women speak two completely different languages. He'll take what you say at face value, even though that may not really be what you're trying to get him to understand.

My husband and I have been married a long time. He can usually complete my sentences and it is very difficult for us to surprise one another because we just "know" what the other is thinking. EXCEPT when there is a problem. I would get very angry because I thought I was making myself clear, and he should be able to figure out that A leads to B. Don't even get me started on my reaction to what I thought he was thinking or implying lol, he didn't stand a chance.

I'm sorry for the very lengthy reply, I seem to be very windy these days. But the very best advice I can give you is no matter what's going on, arguing about money or kids or whatever, when something comes out of his mouth that you think is hurtful, stop and ask "did you really just mean to imply that I'm stupid". Defuse the situation as soon as possible, because if you're anything like I was, if you let it sit there, it just grows and grows into a huge issue that could have been solved by simply asking for clarificaiton.