So I am in T and its been 10 mos. I am dealing w/CSA and well it is tough. I struggle alot w.anxiety and prob a little depression. We had done EMDR on a few diff occassions and each time I go into a tailspin of confusion, anxiety, pain, depression, a funk for days and weeks. When I finally come out of these episodes I am just confused at what it is.

Last week my T suggested again that I see a Pdoc so I can get on some meds that will help with the anxiousness I feel. I am a little stressed about it but agreed to have an open mind and try to follow thru. I got an appt set up.

Today I met w/T and he expressed agn the need to follow thru. He sz I am highly anxious and he wants me to be able to feel better. He also explained I have all the symtoms of PTSD but explained that it is diff then PTSD when a person has 1 episode that are trying to work thru. He says the EMDR will be on hold for now because I have so many episodes/memories that I lived thru and ...well he thinks it is causing me to relive through the act/mem and that is not the intent in EMDR.

So he wants me to focus more on the fact that I am a survivor. I asked if he thought Ihad ADD and he sz absol not, but PTSD and severe. He asked me if I knew much about it but I dont. So he explained a little. But I want to know more about it and need to understand it and how it works or affects people. I need to know from people who have experienced long term abuse and now suffer from the effects of PTSD.

I am just coming out of a bout of anxiety/panic/depression over the last 3-4 days. Until now I have always just dealt with it and got through it and then got back to life. But I really do hate these episodes and I want to relate and pull it apart so I can understand it and wrap my head around it. I want to know what I can do to manage it and get through it without it ruling my life or days that I suffer.

I hope someone has input ..... thanks