I'm still getting triggered at school. I hate it. It is not so much a full panic attack (except when it is), as it is a constant underlying anxiety that comes when I am at school. I don't know what to do about it. My T and I are working through the trust issues and getting there. She also knows that this is an issue that we are going to have to work through. But I just feel so awful that it had been so long since things have been this bad constantly. Why does it have to come back? Right now, why now? I finally get back to school and I worked so hard to get here. And now this happens. Why can't I get a break? Why can't anything not be overwhelmed by all this? I didn't cause this, but now I have to keep dealing with it? How is that fair? I just feel so alone. I accepted that it was going to mess up certain parts of my life (intimacy). It isn't supposed to mess up the one thing in my life that I was good at. It isn't supposed to mess up the one place I could escape as a kid from the crazyness at my house. I feel that even my escapes are being taken away from me. I just want my life back.