I was using a metaphor. mostly. The only thing that was real is
"If some hinted,,between the lines..that you are a squirt, yet demanded you to accomplish things?!"

This is all my subjective feeling but yeah i feel as if i was being abused. Just plain teachers with their criticism and me ****ing taking it this way and them talking sometimes sort of rude etc. well they hardly EVER encouraged me and saw a real human in me.

Maybe my design REALLY sucked maybe not, but they 70% of the time thought so and said things like "I would throw you out of the class for this, even if you were first year."And all the class has to hear it.

I don`t know i hate them all. College teachers can be condescending and disgusting. I assume there can be nice too.

And i was left with this feeling like "i`m a zero" and i have been treating it with a bunch of spirituality and self help literature...etc.

So i went back to my councilor. Months and i am still afraid to work. I sort of disconnect myself. I guess this anger is a part of me waking up and seeing that if it is THEIR thoughts or words or whatever about me and they do not have to be true.

But i did some progress....i just felt that they did it to me you know - so i wrote a song about that and in one of them I used that metaphore.
I`m just having