Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine2
ok...let go anyway. I'm not going to tell you that I'll catch you. I will tell you I'll lay down there with you, look for the crack letting in the light, and say, "Damn but that was an itch with a capital B of a fall."
Like the saying about a good friend will bail you out of jail, but the best friend is sitting in the cell with you laughing at the fun ya just had...
You've got lots of best friends here, white_iris.
In Peace
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Found a bit of a ledge and i'm resting here a bit. had a tough T session yesterday and for a bit of time thought that T was going to say that I needed another "rest" in the hospital.....and if she had, i probly wouldn't have disagreed. today i am exhausted and numb. she agreed to back off for now with looking at this dark side and my task is to leave the frightened, terrified child in the dark and move toward the light myself. she will come when she is ready (says T and H--who was at the T session). That in itself is tearing me apart. Leave the child inside and take care of me (save me?).
I'm a mom---i would never leave a frightened child.
It causes me to freeze and feel like it is a no win choice.
Tho I know that I need to take care of me before I can care for this frightened part of me.
Feel like curling in a ball---
Why is it so easy for those on the outside to say "this is what you need to do......" when they have no idea what doing it entails?
Or maybe I am just making excuses for my own lack of movement.
In my "sick" mind, hospital looks good.
In my "healthy" mind NO WAY...
so i am frozen on this narrow ledge. I won't talk to T or H about it. I will bring out the "everything is fine" face. Lie thru my teeth that I am doing what was told i need to do......what the helll, good at faking, good at not showing the real me anyway......
sorry---this is way too much.....