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theotterone · Oct 02, 2009, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AAAAA

I couldn't agree with daryl more. My youngest are twins (now 16) and for the longest time people thought that they had to treat them like a package deal. I think limiting Bug to do things that only Crash can be included in will cause resentment by Bug and a sense of entitlement by Crash. Children are very clever beings, they pick up on the sub-text very quickly.

I hope her father gets on board with the program very quickly. As long as Crash sees that her tantrums are doing what she intended they will remain a very effective tool for her. As long as they're effective, she'll continue to use them.

My eldest has/had a very severe case of ADHD, this is not an excuse for bad behavior, medication will not solve that issue. Medication will simply give her a few seconds to decide IF she wants to act that way. Watch a few episodes of Supernanny, it really is as simple as changing YOUR behavior. Don't get me wrong, changing your response is difficult, and she'll continue the behavior until she realizes that you (and hubby) will not respond to it anymore.

Thank you all for giving me a much needed change in perspective!

Crash is being evaluated on the 6th. I have to remember not to put my feelings on her. It took her and D 3 months after she was born to bond (and before you say it, yes, I understand it can take longer for fathers since we women tend to bond with our children while we carry them).

I am still coming to terms with my own ADHD diagnosis, and the things I am learning help. So are the therapy sessions. Our whole family dynamic is changing, it's scary and I have to look at things I have been avoiding for years. My girls are good girls with big hearts! I love them both dearly and it is hard to see them dissapointed. But they won't learn to deal with the harder emotions if they don't experience them. I just want them to grow up healthy and happy, with better coping skills then D and I have.

Thank you for letting me know it is ok that I am not perfect. Sometimes I get into this "I need to be perfect" thinking without realizing it! I am lucky to have PC for support!