Wellllllll, it depends very much on your tone of voice, body language etc. It does sound more parental rather than partner. It's hard to say really not being present. The three major problems in relationships are Money, Kids, and Communication. What were the ground rules you set up about money before you moved in together? Do you have seperate accounts each being responsible for 1/2 of expenses?

I would venture to guess that he's feeling very sensitive about not being employeed right now. And your comments, even with the best of intentions, probably rubbed salt into an open wound.

I will give you the same advice I gave my adult children, just because you have an opinion doesn't mean you have to share it. Take this opportunity to turn this situation into a positive learning experience. Let him know that you are concerned not because you do not believe in him, but because YOU have made financial mistakes in the past and this is a source of concern for you. The issue here isn't him going to the store spending a few dollars here and there, it is that you are concerned about your financial future. You're fighting about the little thing while the real problem remains untouched really. If I were to venture to guess, I would say the real problem is that he isn't working.

I don't know where you live or what things are available to do in your town. But instead of saying "going to the store daily is expensive" suggest something different. Like hey, that corner cafe has good coffee, why not go there for a cup in the morning. He'll meet new people and perhaps even hear of job opportunities that he would not otherwise.

The two of you are going through a serious adjustment period. Most people do not like unsolicited advice. But if this relationship is going to work, you are going to have to figure out a way to make your feelings, concerns, needs known without the other person taking it as a personal attack. Ask him how he thinks you can talk these things out without both of you being on the offensive.