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Is it normal? Now I'm sad. Sad at the thought of not seeing him for a long time... Why is it that there are so many emotions involved with this? I've gone 2 months without seeing him for basic, about 5 months without seeing him but once a month for AIT, 4 months not seeing him for his first deployment than 15 months on his second.
Why am I sad? After all of this crap he's put me through, all the tears, all the nights being terrified from certain things, all the pain... Why am I sad? What is wrong with me? It's so frustrating, what kind of a person am I to miss such a man?
I keep thinking about Sunday night... Our last night in the same house... What will I do? Will I hug him or kiss him? Will I even sleep in our bed? He's not a terrible man, he just has really bad anger problems, it was the way he was raised. Now I'm making excuses for him but I can't help it!
Always making excuses... So with everything he's done, every fight every broken item, every ounce of pain... How can I be sad?
Panic... Panic attack... Am I doing the right thing? Will this ruin my life? Why can't I just have some break from these emotions, from this sadness this fear this everything... Need a break... Can't leave... Have to leave.... Oh gosh...
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
Last edited by PurpleFlyingMonkeys; Oct 02, 2009 at 07:33 PM.
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