Deborah,
I am sending you the warmest hug possible right now because I know what you have been thru. I have been there. It was like reading my own words coming out of my mouth. It kinda freaked me out a little and also sadened me because I know how hurt you are feeling, how confusing it has been, and how tired you are.

I am gonna pm you a little later and we'll talk. By the way, you came to the right place :O) Good people here and it's what has gotten me thru alot.
Hugs
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin