yes, insider was triggered. that much i know. it's as though i felt this insider's massive, massive defensiveness. i felt it and i understood it, but just to a point. insider was reacting to trigger. i wasn't, but understood. does that makes sense?

i was upset but for different reasons. it was very confusing. however, i could feel some of what insider was feeling. it was intense! it was so very confusing. i'm just glad to be back. however, now i feel shame and embarassment.

now, it's quickly becoming a blur. the thing is...now, i can barely connect with any of the feeling or reasoning from yesterday...none of it even makes sense anymore. ugh.

thank you (((((((((((((((monty))))))))))))))))))

kd