Amazing. Sabrina, now that you mention it, every punishment I gave my son hurt me. But I didn't think twice about it because I wasn't interested in being his friend. I was interested in respecting him. And I knew if I didn't teach him boundries, he was going to grow up to be someone I couldn't respect.
I remember the first time he had a true punishment (and not "time out"). He was playing with another boy in the neighborhood. He came in for supper. Soon a knock came at the door. He was only four. A man from the neighborhood said that my son and the other little boy had torn a bag of wood chips on the man's porch and had thrown them all over the yard. I asked my son if he did it. He looked down and nodded. I told him to go to his room and get his $5 that I had given him for his allowance. He went to get it and then he gave it to the man and apologized to him. The man said thank you and told him he was a good boy for apologizing and paying for the damage. To the best of my knowledge, he never destroyed someone else's property again.