I have had several similar experiences:

I was a music major....playing my flute with the thought that I would love to be a flute player in a symphony orchestra.....but definitely NOT a music teacher with kids as I was definitely NOT a kid person.......I was good at my flute.....I practiced 8 hour a day & I just wasn't getting good enough to ever be the quality that could ever qualify for a symphony. I had a private flute teacher who actually was a flute player in the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra....everytime she would teach, I would go away in tears....thought wow, I just can't get it....I kept practicing......I found another flute teacher who was awesome.....she had actually taken lessons from one of the top professional flute players John Pierre Rampal......I continued to practice & still, I could only get to a certain level & just could't get past that no matter who I took lessons from or how much I practiced......I realized that I just didn't have the talent to ever be at the performing professional lever I had wanted to be....other option was teaching & that I just couldn't do, so I had to find another direction for my career.....I changed in my junior year to accounting & computer science.....something that I could use my mind & didn't require a specific talent.

The important point is that I was the one that ultimately was able to objectively look at my ability to do what I really wanted to do. I could to the other things & pass the school work & the piano proficiency & other things in the music major requirements...I have since used them in my hobies & my own personal enjoyment.

If I knew I was good & could have realistically compaired myself with the others & seen that I was just as good as they were, I know I would have continued & worked even harder to prove it.....but when there was no where more to go & there was NO sign of improvement with all the work I was putting in, it required some difficult reality checks on my part.

With the choice I made on the Accounting & the computer science, I knew I could do it.....I worked hard....being a woman in a mans field at that time required harder work to prove myself which I did...& I succeeded in ending up in an engineering career for 15 years that I enjoyed & succeeded at & was respected for the work I did....nothing more or less than anyone else, but definitely not put down by anyone like they could have with my being a woman.

Continue working hard on what you are doing.....if in the long run you realize that what they are saying it true.....then it's up to you to make that determination in the long run.....but you need to know your talent & ability......& know how you really compare with those you are competing against. If the field you are in isn't that competitive like the flute positions I was going after (there are only about 5 flute players in each symphony....not a high demand for that & there are 1000's of awesome flute players).

Just be honest with what you are going after......what you are aiming for......don't let your teachers discourage you......but look at the reality of the situation & analyze it for yourself & what outcome you will end up with when you are finished....what are the opportunities......let yourself determine your talent...you know when you are more than good enough to accomplish your goals.....& either continue & go in the direction you are going or revise your path according to YOUR analysis.

Let yourself HONESTLY analyze your situation & determine where you are. I used to say there isn't anything we can't do, but the truth is that there are some things that take an inner talent that one can still enjoy what they are doing but at a lesser level than what is required at a higher professional level.

I hate it when criticism isn't constructive.....when it is attack form.....it should never be that way.....but some people don't know how to be any other way. Professors are especially that way...many think they are God espesially when they have students futures in their control.

When you know you are doing a great job & are still getting attacked, some professors think they are toughening you up for the real world (bad thinking on their part....but some think that way)...or they are trying to see just how serious you really are.

You need to determine where you really stand in the reality of the situation & determine what they are trying to do & what you need to do to either prove yourself or whether there is another option you may need to look at in the long run.

The only thing I can say is that they way they treated you is cruel.....but I have found out that in some competitive fields......the real world you end up working in isn't any less cruel or competitive......it's just something that only you are able to really determine......we can't go to college & stick our head in the sand without thinking about what the future really holds.....but we can't be scared off either......there takes a lot of self confidence in the success also.

Sorry my answer sounds so wishy washy.....but there is no real right or perfect answer......the real answer lies in your analysis of the truth & the reality of your situation without the influence of anyone but the truth (& that isn't coming from the professors most of the time).

I wish you success without allowing yourself to be influenced by the negative professors....but influencing YOUR OWN SELF with an honest appraisal of your situation.

Best wishes,
Debbie