So, I'm in a bit of a conundrum.

I am a recent college grad with only a part time job to support me financially.

I just learned my best friend is getting married in early June, & I'm the maid of honor. I'm retardedly thrilled, but...

She & the fiance want the wedding overseas in Ireland. It's, of course, going to be an expensive, lavish bash in a castle. She's a brilliant heiress who hangs out at Martha's Vineyard, he's making money going pro-lacrosse, & I've struggling to make a dime since graduation.

Basically, I can BARELY afford to do my Maid-of-honor duties if I scrape pennies, but that's the thing. In the next couple of months, my family is going to ask me to go halfway on my $400 a month health insurance, & then I have car insurance which I will also be contributing to. I desperately wanted to start saving my money, & maybe do some exploring in the city if I had some extra cash....But with two other weddings this year & debts to pay, this Ireland wedding won't let me put ANY money in the bank. None.

I feel like my bestie has always been a little flighty when it came to money. She's intimidated by understanding basic finance. She's been hesitant to take control of her fortune. Granted, she's only 20, so I imagine it's intimidating, but when she neglects to finish paying me for taking her summer algebra class, & requires me to be the only one to ask about how payments are going to be handled, it puts me in an awkward position. Granted she was sick at the time, but when she was well enough to travel to Martha's Vineyard it would have been nice if she had thought to send a check I sorely needed given my woeful financial situation [which she was well aware of].

When I decided she wasn't properly paying me for the class, I was having a difficult time getting in touch with her to talk about it. I left her a long, stern voicemail saying that sometimes she didn't always understand the value of money, & I had wished she had thought of what it would have meant to me if she made more of an effort to try & get the cash to me in a more timely manner while visiting Martha's Vineyard. I wasn't yelling, but I was probably being condescending. She flipped a s^%*, was deeply hurt, & totally missed the point. A month later I still don't have a check, but I did get a Burberry bag for my birthday haha? I mean, amazing gift, I can't tell you how grateful I am for it, buuuut....

Now I feel like I'm in a similar situation again with this wedding deal. I don't want to be accused of being a bad friend by asking her to not have her dream wedding on account of me. At the same time, I think she & her fiance are being incredibly insensitive to their guests, who may not necessarily be as rich as them, by requiring everyone to spend upwards $1300 on attending their wedding.

Don't get me wrong, I want to be the maid of honor. I love this girl with all my heart, I swear I'd marry her if he didn't.... & I'll still be the maid of honor anyway if they keep the Ireland plans, but good god.....I'm so god damn poor.

How do I have this conversation with her without hurting her feelings AGAIN? What on earth should I do?