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Thank you so much, Thinker. What you wrote sounded autobiographical for me, I was (am) very musically talented. It was the one thing that my parents made a big deal about. They would ask me to "perform" for their friends. I played any instrument you would give to me and I sang. I have perfect pitch and play guitar, banjo, mandolin and mountain dulcimer.
You described some of my behaviors to the letter. I remember two specific times when my acting out became dangerous for others I was around. Once I was throwing a tantrum and threw a pub dart at my little brother and it stuck in the sofa just a couple inches from his chest. The other time, I was at the neighbor's house, she babysat for us while our mother was working. We were playing outside and we were on their picnic table, acting like we were performing on a stage. Another girl was "stealing my limelight" so I pushed her off the table. She cracked her head on a concrete block and had to get stitches. These were both aggressive acts. I was in an altered state of mind when I did them. None of my brothers or sister were like this.
I truly appreciate the validation your post provided. I self-medicated like your brother, for a very long time. I'm glad I quit eventually.
This crap is so painful. I'm sick of it. I was kind of keeping my fingers crossed that it was over with. Guess there's only our best effort as a weapon.
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 Vickie
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