Pink Lotus,

My ex-hub and I did work with a sex therapist for a few months. The difficult part for me was the first session. We basically talked about who I am & things I've been through, and my hub at the time did as well. The T quickly turned the discussion towards me, pointing out that I was the one with sexuality problems. I was furious and never wanted to go back.

We went back the next week, and the T gave us instructions to follow. Hub had to give me space ~ no pressure. I had to feel safe. That took a few weeks. From there, it was my job to initiate intimacy. My hub was to follow my cues very lightly. I also had to work on myself independently. Meaning: actually look at myself in the mirror. Look at my body...accept my body. The goal of that therapy was to get me to become more comfortable with sexuality.

It did work for a while for hub and I. But, the self-acceptance part is HUGE. I recommend going to the sex T, to work upon how you can handle sex more easily. But you may also require separate T for dealing with past emotional difficulties.

Best wishes to you!
Shez