Hi Michah,

When I saw you put up this thread I said to myself . Oh No .. and why does having Borderline personality make a person so special in the area of not being able to love...

Isn't this an across the board of the human race effort to understand and question oneself? Can you quantify ones abilty to love as if to strap one up to a detector.

In Eckart Tolle in his Book "The New Earth" Eckhart discuses every angel of the ego and love in relationships . things many of us already know but difficut to put into practice. Or evn the need to practice takes away for the act of loving.

We are Love period. everyone.

Theres no need to point out one special group as not being able to love.

Time and again threads are started on forums of those who separte them selves from those having the symptoms of Borderine personality disorder .
and they are always in the thread of

"Can a BPD love.?"

which is so very depersonalizing to refer to others as BPD .

A label ..separateness . The egos need to be right or better or more than."the others" .

Your so open and forthcomming . But I fear for those who are so honest and speack about themselves . That this will just feed those eyes that are hungering for thier righteous indignation.

I know your above that I am not. By now you know I cringe at labels always have have resentment of those who do use them .

comes from my being bullied .

but on to one of your many questions.. you sound a bit like me when I get typing goig from one thought to another rapid fire as you can see in this paragrah.

Well I think if we don't let ourselves be loved we will possiblt dry up so its okay to want and need love while loving ourselves .Im not learning to love myself . I really do love so many things about my heart. I've been blessed in that area I feel on equal footing with most individuals in the love department.

Its when I meet someone who judges me and makes me out to be non loving or falling short of the mark that I struggle .or fits me in a box .

Or I buy into thier beliefs . You ask the question why do we or others put ourselves down when others do not love us.

lie a battered wife when you live with someone who beats you up physically or emotionally its not difficult to belive it after awhile.

depends on what kind of putting down it is ..

here is an example of what I consider to be putting down of a person with BPD and could make it harder for those who think they are incappable.

its a story that says a person with BPD is like an old black crow .

I actualy saw a dead crow at the foot of my driveway last week and this troy came back to me I was haunted by it and hurt deep inside.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...highlight=crow

Its a well crafted story, I had always thought that but there was this nagging in the back of my mind long ago regarding it .

the part refering to people who have BPD are like this old crow who feeds on carion I find to be hurtful in its rendition. Thats what bothered me and took a while to see this.

Its this sort of wording that can undermine someone if read and help them to feel bad . And if you already put yourself down it doesn't take much to go down farther .

When this sort of thing happens when a person sets you up as being a person who cannot love .

You have to go back and review ones life and look for the 95% of the times you are loving in private when the other can not see you or see into your quiet heart..

Patricia