I'm 28 years old and have never been in a serious relationship before. My longest relationship lasted 3 months and that was over 10 years ago! The last time I was even with a guy was over a year ago and it only lasted just over a month. I'm beginning to think something is seriously wrong with me. I think I start to panic once things become serious and I get scared and push them away. But I don't want to do that anymore. I want a serious relationship. I want to get married and have kids. I don't want to be scared anymore. In the past, I dated guys for all the wrong reasons... out of depression mainly, which had disastrous results. Part of still has self esteem issues that I need to work on, but I do know that I want to be in a relationship and I don't want to be scared anymore. I want a life.. a future.. a husband.. children. How do you know when you're ready? Where does everyone find all these great guys? Sometimes I think no guy will ever want me because I've gained a lot of weight from the meds I take. I just hope there's a good guy out there somewhere who accepts me for who I am. Any idea how to find him?