Hello pleasehelpmenow and welcome to PC

It doesnt matter if others dont see the real you - you know that you are in trouble and need help and that is a huge step - well done

Seeing a Dr is a good idea - as starlite says Depression needs to be taken seriously - there could be a medical reason - and the Dr can check for that - if not then anti depressants can help if there is a chemical imbalance form long term sadness - agitation - or fear -

a referral to a therapist can also help - now i know that can sound scary - and you may not want to do that - i know i didnt - but i will tell for me that was the best thing i could have done - i was in a really bad palce and my therapist (psycholigist ) really helped me get further along the healing road.

Please take care and let us know how you are going ok

P7