I'm happy you're doing better Ama. You deserve a place of stability and a good life. We all do. The right meds combo seems to be the answer for most of us. I'm almost there too. Still having "off" days, but on the whole I don't recognize myself from even a couple of weeks ago. There are still the invasive and negative thoughts, but my mood may be evening out. It has nothing to do with "will power" or thinking positive thoughts. It's all about the chemistry. In time I think when our meds are good, we can work through patterns of thinking and behaviors that are detrimental. Then long term success is possible.

Wishing you all the luck and happiness in the world. You be careful though. Do all the "right things" to stay well and challenge anything unusual or toxic to your well being.