Gretchen ~ I think you need to talk to a doctor. You don't need to be afraid to do so. It is wonderful that you posted here. This is exactly what we are here for - to offer support and information, even though we cannot diagnose. I strongly, strongly encourage you to keep taking those little steps toward getting whatever kind of help you might need. Incidentally, I talk to myself, too, but there's all kinds of reasons for that, and it is certainly not necessarily psychotic [a false perception or belief]. I do it because I live by myself and/or because I need to ventilate those things I WISH I had said to someone else. Take Hope and Seek a Professional to Talk To. There is NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Doctors have heard it all, and, if they haven't, they are ever the more interested in what you have to say. You have said nothing in this post, or the one below, that I have not heard before, and I am not a doctor! I just Care About YOU ~ billieJ