This is incomplete.

the truth is I have not helped people here for the right reasons.

I have used everyone here

for MY show...

to prove or show one person Im okay and with the hopes they would love me.

hours I could have used to work and make money to take care of myself . to clean my apartment to make a real life for myself in real life.

I was invited so I could get help with that . But my motives were wrong.

I messed up another person who has a heart of gold

I owe them the biggest appologies

All my postings on the internet are with hopes this person cares and reads me
Im pretty ill. Im not sane actually.

instead of beimg lovable Ive made myself detestable to them

I am just that

I know it in my bones

I do not give selflessly .

I don't know If I ever will be able to .
I know I won;t beable to here at PC.

So Im sorry Its been my show .

I 'm just so so wise beautiful and I know just what to say

what a joke.

Im sorry..

Patricia